Rodney Dangerfield Quotes

Rodney Dangerfield, 1921 – 2004

Born: 22 November 1921, Babylon, New York
Died: 5 October 2004, Los Angeles, California

Born Jacob Cohen, his father Philip was a vaudeville performer who used the name Phil Roy. Jacob started writing jokes for standup comics as a teenager, took the stage as “Jack Roy” himself at 19. He struggled for nine years before giving it up to sell siding. He later said, “At the time I quit, I was the only one who knew I quit!” In the early ’60s he decided to try again, adopting the name “Rodney Dangerfield”, a name that had been used by Jack Benny and Ricky Nelson, and the familiar persona to go with it. He caught a break when The Ed Sullivan Show was faced with a last-minute cancellation, and the grumpy character that “got no respect” was a hit. He was back several more times, was a regular on The Dean Martin Show, appeared 35 times on The Tonight Show, and headlined in Las Vegas. He bought a Manhattan club which he named “Dangerfield’s” which became a springboard for a host of younger talent. He appeared in several movies, notably Caddyshack, Easy Money, and Natural Born Killers. He died after being in a coma for several weeks following heart surgery. His tombstone at reads “Rodney Dangerfield: There goes the neighborhood.”

Rodney Dangerfield quotes:

A homeless guy came up to me on the street, said he hadn’t eaten in four days. I told him, “Man, I wish I had your willpower.”
    Rodney Dangerfield

Everyone gets their rough day. No one gets a free ride. Today, so far, I had a good day. I got a dial tone.
    Rodney Dangerfield

I don’t get no respect!
    Rodney Dangerfield

I found there was only one way to look thin, hang out with fat people.
    Rodney Dangerfield

I like to date schoolteachers. If you do something wrong, they make you do it over again.
    Rodney Dangerfield

I live in a tough neighborhood. They got a children’s zoo. Last week, four kids escaped.
    Rodney Dangerfield

I tell ya, I grew up in a tough neighborhood. The other night a guy pulled a knife on me. I could see it wasn’t a real professional job. There was butter on it.
    Rodney Dangerfield

I tell ya, my family were always big drinkers. When I was a kid, I was missing. They put my picture on a bottle of Scotch.
    Rodney Dangerfield

I tell ya, my wife’s a lousy cook. After dinner, I don’t brush my teeth. I count them.
    Rodney Dangerfield

I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous, everyone hasn’t met me yet.
    Rodney Dangerfield

I was an ugly kid. I worked in a pet store. People kept asking how big I’d get.
    Rodney Dangerfield

I was an ugly kid. When I was born, after the doctor cut the cord, he hung himself.
    Rodney Dangerfield

I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.
    Rodney Dangerfield

I’m at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I’ve just had a mirror put over my kitchen table.
    Rodney Dangerfield

I’m taking Viagra and drinking prune juice — I don’t know if I’m coming or going.
    Rodney Dangerfield

What do you think?

1.5k Points
Upvote Downvote

Written by MoneyNet

MoneyNet is the team behind the research and fact-checking of our net worth listings. We strive to provide the most up-to-date listings of the wealthiest people in the world from a wide range of industries and professions. If you have a tip, or think that we have something factually incorrect, then please let us know. Aside from that, enjoy learning everything there is to know about the rich and famous.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

Sidonie-Gabrielle Colette Quotes

Clint Eastwood Quotes